#platonic bonding abound

[year2000electronics]

Bill & Ford & A Book, Oh My!

DISCLAIMER: The Book of Bill has Bill Cipher serving as an unreliable narrator. If we go out trying to say something is "definitively a truth" or "definitively a lie", we're going to keep arguing about it until the heat death of the universe. This is just my own personal interpretation of the source material. If you don't agree, that's fine! Also TBOB spoilers abound.

So it's no secret that interest in the dynamic Bill & Ford have (enemies, platonic, romantic, formerly romantic, whichever way) has really skyrocketed since TBOB's release. Of course, there are the 'easy' culprits to point towards, with Mabel referring to Bill as 'being like a needy ex', and the whole O'Sadley's fiasco (Him literally crying over losing Ford and going "one Sixer, please"? Messy. Messy behavior. Still, I think it goes so much deeper than that.

Bill, being the unpredictable chaos entity that he is, also serves as the main antagonist for a show about family and having close bonds with each other. We don't really need to look into his inner psyche that much, because that's just not what he needed to be doing at that point in the cartoon. He's meant to be a way to divide the Pines, really. And a silly little guy. A silly little obstacle. So, naturally, when it came to Bill's arguably "closest" relationship to someone in the show (Ford), it was very easy to interpret it as Ford being tricked by a completely apathetic Bill, who was just using him as a rung on the ladder. And I do want to stress that Ford and Bill's physical actions remain fairly consistent throughout interpretations, and focusing on the fact that Bill badly hurt Ford is important, so if that's how you still see it, then fine by me! No harm no foul!

But I think the relationship, their story, their tragedy just becomes so much more interesting with the lens The Book of Bill has presented. We’re finally able to see Bill’s perspective as a “protagonist” of sorts in a medium where he’s not just something to defeat- and that’s something we’ve never gotten before, so it’s shedding light on an area we didn’t know about for sure! Again, Bill is lying to the character of "the reader", so we can't trust it as a completely unbiased source. But we can speculate on where the "truth" is between these lies.

First of all, Bill's backstory was that he destroyed his home dimension- we knew that already. But now, with the extra content we have about it, we see something interesting- that Bill's backstory mirrors Ford's to an uncanny degree.

Both of them champion their intelligence, although they highlight how it set them apart from others, as well as highlighting their own 'rare mutation/birth defect'.

Again, with this self-isolation already spurred on from their "weirdness", but also as a little aside, I would also like to highlight that Bill being 'ready to be one', looking up at the stars, striving to 'reach' them, is a shared motif he has with Ford, who is also associated with space, the stars, and reaching them.

Bill's 'trying-really-quick-to-convince-Ford' fantasy sequence even has him in a field of stars as a sort of "ultimate wish fulfilment". Remember, this is Bill showing Ford something he thinks would win Ford over, at least a little.

(And I'll take a quick time out for this train of thought to point out- hey! Bill admits he sought out most of his other victims, but Ford summoned him, and it took him by surprise! That adds a fun little layer of complexity to everything, don't you think? Another little layer of humanity for this whole mess- Bill didn't expertly seek out the 'perfect victim' or anything, it was just... luck. Some twist of fate.)

Anyways.

Obviously, the intro page to the 'Sixer' section has a ton of red flags galore (I mean, poor guy's literally depicted as a hapless puppet. C'mon, Bill. Not to mention the "OH BOY HE'S ALREADY SO ISOLATED, IT'S PERFECT" thing.). This guy is kind of a terrible companion no matter how you slice it. He's terrible to everyone close to him, because he's a deeply traumatized character who refuses to heal. BUT, the wording here is kinda deliciously intriguing to me. All of humanity is Bill's puppets, his future victims, but to me, it's clear that he holds a fondness for Ford. From "This is what a partner looks like", to "Me and Sixer could be the perfect team", to "He had what I always wanted- fingers" (drawn to his strangeness, maybe?), "He was destined for so much more", "I looked at his futures and giggled", and most stand-out to me, "Society calls these people freaks, I call them Henchmaniacs!"

Going back to the pre-Book of Bill era I was talking about, Bill's offers for Ford to join him were always in a sort of murky territory for interpretation. The first offer could definitely be read as mocking, with the line "WITH THAT SIX-FINGERED HAND, YOU'D FIT RIGHT IN WITH MY FREAKS!" in particular making it seem like Bill was only saying that to rub Ford's strangeness in his face, and the second offer to join Bill being under a new circumstance- that now Bill is desperate and believes Ford is the only one who can help him. But the Book of Bill mentions the idea of Ford becoming a Henchmaniac more than once, and also has Bill upset at losing Ford and claiming "he'll be back", as well as Bill seeming to use "freak" more like a badge of honour, and having previously complimented Ford's six fingers (In the Sixer intro page, he highlights Ford's fingers as a quality he likes, and in the pages about bodies, he states that "humans should have more fingers". To me, that first offer reads more now like Bill being genuine about finding Ford a place among his misfits. ...Although, the moment Ford says no, he does zap him into a statue. So. Y'know. He's still got issues.

(Yeah, again, red flag city. "Just hazing"? Bill, none of what you were doing over there was okay! You might have suppressed everything traumatic that happened to you, but that doesn't mean you can go around traumatizing everyone! Good lord.)

Bill has already been imply to like other characters because they remind him of himself. Pointing towards a connection with a character Bill DOESN'T have a weird undefinable ex-partner thing with... Mabel! Alex has says in multiple official media and interviews that Bill sees a lot of himself in Mabel, and essentially, that he thought Mabeland was the perfect prison because if HE liked all that awesome, uncontrolled chaos over any family or friends, why wouldn't SHE? And we see that again in TBOB. So basically, what I'm saying is that we have two characters to back up the fact that Bill seems gravitated towards humans or other living beings that he views as being 'like him'- beings he can relate to! So, y'know, what does that say about Bill and Ford?

There's also Bill's plans for the reader and "Weirdmageddon 2.0", where he portrays the reader as getting to, like, perch on his arm like a little bird and get their own little crown? And specifically calls out Ford for not going through with things?? Okay, Bill??

AND Ford not only being the only human mentioned on the list of people he "definitely doesn't miss so stop asking", but also having his own category? Alright, man.

Of course, another point to the 'Hey, maybe Bill can actually feel emotions towards humans besides complete and total apathy' club is this page here, which has ALSO been hotly debated! Certainly, we know he's telling the truth about his home dimension being destroyed, and we know that he's lying about the 'monster', but some interpret this scene as Bill not being remorseful at all and playing his reaction up to earn Ford's sympathy. And me, personally, I dunno if I agree. I feel like the specific inclusion of Bill "looking distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him" (Mirroring the fact that he keeps blacking out when thinking about all his large-scale massacres) and him "laughing joylessly", I think this sequence is meant to tell us that Bill actually is being vulnerable with Ford here, it's just hidden under layers and layers of deceit, whether towards himself or Ford or both.

And finally for my Book of Bill collection stuff, there's the stuff that could be read as more romantic in nature. In the 'love' section, Bill claims he doesn't love anyone, but, like-

Come on. You can disagree with me that it's Ford, but he does have exes. And he's clearly not over them. Shrimpy little liar. And then there's the fact that a lot of his hokey 'advice' is stuff he ends up directly doing to Ford.

These rats.

The Love Cage.

The Book of Bill really outlined all that in bold, but in my opinion, it was never an entirely new revelation! Bill seems to hold a preference for Ford over other humans in the show. He shows up in Ford's dreams just to say hi, tease him, and gloat (Mabelcorn) unlike the other two dream appearances he's made (Dreamscaperers, Sock Opera) which were exclusively for business purposes. Unlike every other character that gets exclusively one nickname for their zodiac sign, Ford gets multiple (Fordsy, IQ, Sixer, smart guy, brainiac, the list goes on). Bill asks Ford to join him TWICE, whereas anyone else who tries gets their face rearranged, put in a cage and made to dance, frozen in stone, etc etc. And finally, I think, the most emblematic of Bill's weird, specific relationship with Ford, is that whereas everybody else gets turned into stone, Ford got turned into gold.

Which kinda sums up their whole thing up pretty well? Bill gave him special treatment by turning him into a golden statue (similar to yellow ha ha), always holding him close, but, like... Dude. You still kidnapped a man and turned him into a statue and then threatened to kill his niece and nephew. I don't think it will change his opinion on you if he's the Most Pampered Hostage, Actually. I just don't think that we need to explore the relationships between characters as simply "Well, this character hurt the other one, so we shouldn't really think about why or what they feel personally, because what they did was bad, so there".

Bill & Ford interest me because they're a tragedy in motion. We can see that Bill and Ford mirror each other in a multitude of ways, and we can see that they both do have positive feelings towards each other at the time they meet, and we see that Bill very desperately wants Ford to be just like him in the unhealthy ways; the ways that make Bill destroy entire universes and compartmentalize it all, because maybe then, he can finally have the companionship he so deeply aches for. Bill and Ford both had tough, lonely upbringings, but Ford moved on from that "I don't need you" mentality. That's what saved him. Bill didn't, and that's what got him where he was in the end. I feel like that's just so much more interesting than Bill just being a flat entity that makes abuse Happen to Ford, just as another Event in his life. I mean, isn't it just SO much more interesting that Ford humanizes Bill, in a way? That Ford makes him- in Bill's own words- "sentimental"? That a chaotic dream demon has regrets and loves and favourites and connections? It's the same thing with Fiddleford & Ford, although, obviously, to a MUCH lesser extent than Bill & Ford. But you get what I mean, right? You know that Fiddleford and Ford are going to undo each other in the end, and the path to that downfall is... it's telling a story! I like the story of it all! I think that's what I've been invested in and intrigued by all these years- the story, the tragedy of Bill and Ford. No matter what form it takes.

(Plus, as tumblr user fordtato pointed out in their own essay (not tagging because this post is messy enough as is oh god), hey, Ford now has two incredibly queer-coded narratives, with one of them being about how he recovered and was able to heal from an abusive relationship. And, well, I think that's just neat.)

Anyways, that's the end of the post. Thanks for reading this long!

[jellalism]

Genshin men x Reader: Telling the secret

You tell him you’re interested in people of the same gender. How does he react?

Characters: Albedo – Alhaitham – Ayato – Baizhu – Chongyun – Childe – Diluc – Gorou – Heizou – Itto – Kaveh – Kazuha – Kaeya – Tighnari – Venti – Wanderer – Wriothesley – Xiao – Zhongli

Genre: Comfort

Reader's gender: Gender neutral

Word count: 1345

Content warnings: None

Notes: For the purposes of this fic, I take every character here to be straight but supportive. Except Baizhu; I cannot for the life of me imagine him as heterosexual. I put ‘gay’ in between brackets; you can replace it in your mind with whatever your sexuality is. All the characters' reactions are platonic.

Read below or on AO3.

Albedo’s expression doesn’t change. “I see. I’ve heard of people like that. I never had the opportunity to meet one, however… Until you, apparently.”

“Maybe you’ve met one before, and you just didn’t know it?”

He smiles. “You’re right, I shouldn’t make assumptions. In any case, thank you for trusting me with this. That means a lot.”

Alhaitham is unfazed as he looks up from his book. “Okay. I imagine you may be worried about my reaction. But you don’t need to be. I think those who judge others for something harmless like loving someone of the same gender are foolish.” He says it matter-of-factly, like there is no doubt in the world.

“Thanks,” you say and sigh from relief.

“No need to thank me,” he says as he turns towards his book again. “Like I said, it’s foolish to judge people for being [gay]. I’m just doing the bare minimum.”

“But still... you take the effort to reassure me. Thank you.”

He looks up again and gazes at your face for a few moments. “Maybe I underestimated how much this means to you.” He closes his book, makes his way towards you and pulls you into a hug. “You’re a friend of mine. Don’t forget that. If anyone in the Akademiya gives you trouble over your sexuality, let me know. I can cause trouble in return.”

“That’s quite unusual, isn’t it?” says Ayato. “But unusual doesn’t mean wrong. Everyone has their own tastes. I hope you can find someone who makes you happy. And if you need help finding someone, let me know. I think it might be fun to play matchmaker.” He smiles mischievously. It might be prudent not to let him choose a date for you.

Baizhu looks relieved. “Well, finally you told me. Doesn’t it feel like a relief? You know, it’s not healthy to keep all kinds of secrets bottled up.”

“I know, but… this isn’t something easy to share.”

“Oh, I know, y/n. I’m gay myself, but it’s something I’ve learned not to share with just anyone. It makes my work easier. In any case,” he continues, “thank you for trusting me. I think this brought us closer together, hasn’t it?”

Chongyun looks surprised. “That’s possible? I didn’t even know! That’s so cool!” His eyes are full of excitement and curiosity. “How did you know? And do you have a partner?” He wants to know all about it.

After a while, you have to explain to him that some people are homophobic, and that he needs to keep your sexuality a secret. “People think it’s bad to love someone, just because the other person is of the same gender? That’s absurd. Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret!”

“I didn’t see that coming, comrade, but don’t worry!” Childe winks. “You won’t get any judgment from me. And besides, a bond of comradeship isn’t broken so easily.” He ruffles your hair. “You’ll be stuck with me for a long time.”

Diluc weighs his words carefully and takes a few moments before he starts speaking. “Thank you for telling me this, y/n. I can see that it means a lot to you, and I don’t take your trust in me lightly. Your secret is safe. And—” he takes the time to choose his words carefully “—I don’t judge you, of course. You’re a dear friend, and this won’t change that.”

Gorou is a little surprised, but not much. “Don’t worry about it! I’m an army general, homosexuality abounds here. If I were homophobic, the army would be the wrong place for me,” he says with a chuckle. “That said, not everyone got the memo. Even here there’s plenty of homophobes. But if anyone gives you trouble, let me know. I’ll be sure to have a stern word with them.” He stands up straight, full of confidence. Gorou really is someone you can count on.

Heizou saw it coming. “A little bit of intuition already told me that much. But I didn’t want to creep you out by letting you know earlier. And don’t worry about it: I haven’t told anyone, of course. I’ll keep any secret for you. Except criminal ones.”

“That’s just one more reason you’re always welcome in the Arataki gang,” Itto says enthusiastically. “We’re made up of outcasts! We welcome anyone who’s gone through hard times. And you, compadre, definitely qualify.” Before you know it, he wraps you in a tight hug.

Kaveh seems completely fine. “That’s beautiful. Love is a beautiful thing. You know, I really admire people like you. In loving the same gender despite what other people think, there’s a certain dedication to love.”

Your face flushes.

“Aww, are you embarrassed? No need to be.” He steps towards you and hugs you gently. “Thank you for telling me. You’re amazing, you know that?”

Kazuha doesn’t say a word, just immediately goes in for the hug. His mouth close to your ear, he softly says: “I hear in your voice that it’s been weighing on you. I’m sorry that you had to carry that on your own. I wish I could’ve borne it with you.” He gently rubs your back to reassure you. Everything about his reaction is full of love and warmth, and your tears threaten to spill over.

“Ah, I see.” Kaeya has a mischievous expression and seems on the verge of making a teasing comment. But when he looks at your anxious face, he becomes more serious and concerned. “This… has been hard for you, hasn’t it? I’m glad you told me, y/n. You’re a dear friend of mine, and your trust in me only makes our bond stronger, if you ask me.”

Tighnari is quite direct about it. “Don’t worry, I’m not homophobic. I’m a forest ranger and a scholar from Amurta. If anyone knows just how natural homosexuality is, it’s me. Does that alleviate your fears?”

“What, you think the God of Freedom would somehow have restrictive ideas about sexuality? Absolutely not.” Venti shakes his head vigorously, as if mere words are not enough to dispel the notion. “In fact, I know some songs about same-gender lovers.” And he strikes a chord on his lyre, starting a song.

Wanderer does not care one way or another. “Oh, so you’re like that? Well, it doesn’t concern me. You can just do whatever you like.”

“But…” You want to say something, but the words don’t seem to come.

“What?” He seems annoyed. “I won’t spill your secret to anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about. Not like I’d have anyone to spill it to, even if I wanted to.” Then, with a softer voice: “You’re one of the few people who cares to spend time with me, after all.” You’re not sure you were supposed to hear that.

“Ah, I see. So that’s what has been weighing on you. I had been wondering.” Wriothesley says matter-of-factly. “I’m sorry to hear you didn’t feel safe enough to tell me until now. But I’m glad you told me now. I won’t betray your trust; you can count on me.” His expression tells you all you need to know: it’s full of love for you.

Xiao has lived a long time and seen many things. “It’s ridiculous to me that some mortals still have not gotten over the fact that some people are [gay],” he says, gazing out over the Guili Plains. He turns to face you, looking you straight in the eye with his intense gaze. “Listen to me. You did not deserve the hardships that people have given you over this. If anyone bothers you, let me know. They will listen to an adeptus.”

Zhongli places his hand on top of your head in a reassuring way. “I was aware some worry was weighing you down, but I did not know what it was. Worry not; things such as this don’t faze me.” He places a kiss on your forehead. “Love is beautiful, so I would never wish to oppose that. If ever you encounter trouble, you can depend on me.”

[rynwritesreid]

Unspoken wounds| Spencer Reid

Summary: Spencer who is no stranger to heartbreak, finds solace and love in his friendship with you. Despite the both of you developing romantic feelings for one another, you were both too nervous to jeopardise your friendship, leading Spencer to find someone else. This leads to the break down of your friendship with him, and causing tension between to two of you that affects your work.

Content: Fem! & BAU reader. Angst and fluff. Spencer gets into a relationship but is still clearly in-love with reader. They both don’t know how to express their feelings to one another. Arguments and an ambiguous ending.

Request:“Ooh any of the 1989 vault tracks 🫶🏼”~ this is based on two; now that we don’t talk & say don’t go.

A/N: this is completely unrelated to this story, but please let me know if you want to see other content.

2075 words

Masterlist|requests are open|Navigation

Spencer Reid was no stranger to heartbreak; it was a companion he knew all too well. His dad had abounded him when he was young, his mom suffered with mental health issues his entire life, and he had suffered with own mental health and addiction. He had come to terms that this was something he was going to experience his entire life, until you came along. You were nothing short of perfect. He could talk to you about anything and everything, without the fear of being judged.

Spencer had contemplated the idea of asking you out on a date numerous times, but the fear of jeopardising the special bond you both shared held him back. He didn’t want anything to come in the way of the two of you. He would go to the ends of the earth to protect you. He loved you, and not just in platonic way.

He had envisioned a life together with you. He had dreamt about proposing to you, watching you walk down the aisle, seeing you carrying his child and growing old with you. If he believed in soul mates, he would be certain that you were his. He just didn’t believe you felt the same way, and he was far too nervous to talk to you about it.

 

He drowned out those feelings for you, he went out looking for someone who would be interested in a relationship with him. So, when he eventually found someone who seemed interested in him, and being in a relationship with him, he basically jumped at the chance.

 

At first you were happy for him. You loved seeing him being this happy, and that he had someone else to talk to that wasn’t you. But it was also tiring. You were having to hide your true feeling for Spencer, or how jealous you were when he was talking about his girlfriend.

 

You had loved Spencer from the first time he had made you laugh. But just like Spencer you were scared to ruin your friendship with him. Spencer was the first man you had ever truly trusted. You told him all your secrets. He knew everything about you.

 

Watching Spencer fall in love with someone else, broke you. It was the breaking point of your friendship with Spencer. The two of you had stopped talking, you only interacted with him if it was truly necessary. You had stopped answering his phone calls or replying to his texts. Spencer was too busy in his new relationship to notice at first, but he watched how you wouldn’t come up to his desk while you were both working. He had noticed how you barely acknowledged him anymore, or how you had stopped laughing at his jokes.

 

Spencer’s heart sank when he realised, he had lost you. You were his best friend, the one person he could always turn to when he needed someone to talk to. He couldn’t bear the thought of not having you in his life. For a while, you were Spencer’s entire world.

 

He tried to reach out to you, leaving voicemails and sending texts, but you didn’t respond. It wasn’t until he saw you leaving the building with tears in your eyes that he realised how much he had hurt you.

 

He felt guilty. Maybe if he had realised earlier that you were ignoring him, he could have fixed the friendship. But now he was wondering if it was too late to do anything. He did wonder if it was to do with his new relationship, but you seemed so happy when he told you about it at first, he was questioning what had happened between then and now.

 

Not long ago, you would have talked to Spencer about your problems, but now Spencer was the problem, you didn’t know who to turn to. You thought about reaching out, asking how he was, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

 

Spencer had tried to talk to his girlfriend about this whole situation. He talked about how you used to do everything together, how you were the person he would go to if he needed help before he met her. He thought she might understand, but she was happy that you were no longer in his life. He knew she had valid reason to be jealous of your (now ex) friendship, but he thought he would more caring, mor understanding.

 

You had become closer to JJ, Emily, and Garcia because of this whole situation. You would laugh about how you didn’t have to pretend to enjoy Russian movies or listen to him list of statistics about anything and everything anymore.

 

But deep down, you still missed him. You missed the way he would at you with his big brown eyes, the way he would geek out over new information, the way he would comfort you when you were feeling down.

 

However, you couldn’t get over the feeling that he had led you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that for the entire friendship you were his, but he wasn’t yours. You thought you might be better off now, knowing you could find someone who would be yours, someone who wouldn’t replace you while you were still in their lives.

 

Whenever you were out in the field, you would try your hardest not to be paired up with Spencer, you couldn’t stand to be around him anymore. What once seemed charming, and caring, now seemed arrogant and cocky.

 

The tension between you and Spencer was palpable, even to the other members of the team. They could feel the tension between the two of you, even though they didn't know the full extent of what had happened.

 

They decided they wanted to fix it, they all missed seeing you two being happy together. So, one day, while out in the field on a case, you and Spencer were forced to work together. It was a difficult and gruelling case, one that required you to be in close proximity to each other for an extended period of time.

 

You hated every second of it. Spencer tried to talk to you like he used too, but you would just shrug hum off. Every time he would talk about his girlfriend, you felt your heartache. You didn’t want to hear about his perfect new life he had, you missed your old Spencer.

 

Spencer hated how you two acted around each other now. He wanted to talk to you about you were feeling about this case, if it was negatively affecting you at all, but you just ignored him. He wanted to tell you that every night he went to sleep wondering if you were okay.

 

You on the other hand had tried to shove all the thoughts about Spencer to the back of your mind. He was the one man you had trusted, and he was the one man you didn’t think would betray you, but he still had. You knew someone who was so good at their job, at profiling people, he should have known that you loved him.

 

Spencer was getting sick of it; he didn’t understand why you were acting like this. He missed his close friend; he missed his person. He asked Emily and JJ about it, but they just told him that he should know why you weren’t talking to him anymore. He couldn’t understand why they didn’t tell him what had happened for you to abandon the friendship, but he knew he had to talk to you about it.

 

One night, while alone in your hotel room and scrolling through your phone, you saw a message from Spencer. You hesitated for a moment before opening it, not sure if you were ready to face him again.

 

The message read: “I miss you. Can we please talk?”

 

Your heart sunk as you read the message. You missed him too, but you weren’t sure if talking would do any good.

 

You messaged JJ, you thought she would know best. She suggested you talk to him; you could air your grievances or just get closure.

 

You took JJ’s advice and invited Spencer to come into your room. As soon as he walked into the room, you felt a rush of emotions. You were angry, hurt, and sad all at the same time. You didn't know how to start the conversation, so you just sat there in silence for a moment.

 

“Look, I know I messed up. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just...I thought it was for the best,” Spencer started, breaking the silence.

 

“What was for the best? Ignoring me and replacing me with someone else?” you said, your voice laced with anger.

 

“No, that’s not what I meant. I just...I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” Spencer said, his eyes pleading with you to understand.

 

“Exactly, friendship. You saw nothing more in me, did you? You led me on for years, you acted like you cared. But you didn’t, did you?” Your tone was aggressive.

 

You hated Spencer for this, for how he made you feel. You wished he hadn’t texted you saying he missed you, you wished you hadn’t replied, you wished you hadn’t been his friend at all.

 

Spencer looked taken aback, hurt even. "That's not true," he said, shaking his head. "I always cared about you; I just didn't want to risk losing you."

 

Spencer couldn’t understand why you were saying all this, he had loved you from the moment his eyes landed on you. He couldn’t believe that you believed that you felt like this, and that you hadn’t communicated your feelings with him.

 

"Well, you did," you said bitterly. "You lost me. I can't just forget how you treated me and how much it hurt."

 

Spencer looked at you, he remember the number of times you had smiled together, laughed together, even cried together. He couldn’t believe he was the one who had hurt you the most, the one who had ruined this friendship.

 

"I know, and I'm sorry," Spencer said, his voice softening. "But I still care about you, more than anything. I miss talking to you, spending time with you. You're still my best friend, even if we haven't talked in a while."

 

You did still care about Spencer; he had been the only person you sought comfort from for a long time. But he now had a girlfriend, he shouldn’t consider you his best friend anymore.

 

“I shouldn’t be your best friend, Spencer. Your girlfriend should. I shouldn’t even be a close second to her, Spencer.”

 

Spencer sighed heavily. "I know, and I'm sorry for that too. But it's not like that with her and me. I care about her, but it's not the same as what I had with you. You were always the one who understood me, who knew me better than anyone else."

 

You were conflicted. On one hand, you missed Spencer, and the way he knew you so well. On the other hand, you were hurt by the way he had treated you and replaced you with his girlfriend. You didn't know if you could trust him again.

 

“What are you trying to say here Spencer? You love your girlfriend, right?”

 

Spencer rubbed his forehead, unsure of how to respond. He did love his girlfriend, but he also loved you. He knew he couldn't have both, and he didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

 

"It's...complicated," he said finally. "I care about her, but I also care about you. I don't want to lose either of you, but I know that's not fair to either of you."

 

You looked at Spencer, trying to keep your emotions in check. You knew deep down that you still loved him, but you couldn't let him play with your emotions like this. You couldn't be his backup plan, his second choice.

 

"Spencer, you can't have it both ways. You need to make a decision. You can't keep playing with both of our emotions like this. It's not fair to either of us. You have to choose," you said firmly.

 

Spencer looked at you, his expression conflicted. He knew he couldn't keep stringing the both of you along; he had to make a choice. He took a deep breath before speaking.

 

"I know I have to make a decision, and I will. I just need some time to think," Spencer said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

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[all-thestories-aretrue]

There are many jokes floating around the shadowgast nation about the nature of Caleb and Essek's relationship (eggplants and winky faces abound), and most of them are good natured and perhaps true (eventually or at some point). I find most of them entertaining and sweet, but some of what I have stumbled across post-reunion have highlighted that it's only a joke up to a certain point to me.

Please keep in mind that everything in this post is my opinion and my opinion only. I'm not asking that anyone agree with me. This post is mainly for me because I felt like I needed to make it.

I have seen several comments/posts/tags in many different places talking about Essek and Caleb and that scene in the reunion, and describing it as horny or saying they can't keep their hands off each other or following up that conversation with sexual intimacy. I know a lot of these comments or conversations are not malicious or ill-intentioned, and I understand that people are excited for the first new content in nearly 2 years.

But, one thing I have appreciated about Critical Role is the variety of sexuality and genders represented, including various asexual and aromantic identities. Essek is confirmed by Matt on Twitter to be demi (romantic or sexual is unclear to me so it could be taken as either. If anyone has any other sources I would greatly appreciate them). As someone who identifies as aspec, I deeply appreciate the representation that Critical Role has given me.

The shadowgast scene in the reunion was not sexual to me. It's only been six months since the end of c2, which granted, I have not completed yet. As of this writing, I am in the middle of episode 133. Whatever is going on between Caleb and Essek is still very new, especially for two people who thought they would never have love. An aspect of being demi is that it takes time and closenes and a strong emotional bond for romantic and/or sexual feelings to develop. Six months, to me, feels like an incredibly short time for those feelings to take root for Essek even if he is on the path of developing them.

Seeing people make light of Essek's sexual attraction or feelings for Caleb or treat them as common place or casual, even innocuously, has made me feel as though this aspect of Essek really is ignored or forgotten about sometimes. Not by everyone nor, I would even doubt, the majority. Maybe not intentionally or maliciously or maybe it's a lack of understanding about demisexuality or aspec identities.

This is a feeling I have had for a while, and I mean this about nothing in particular but rather a sum of the parts I have encountered over the months.

In addition, I think Essek's sexuality can be overshadowed by how sexual Caleb can be/is. He makes comments throughout the entirety of the campaign that directly or indirectly reveal his sexuality, and that part is clearly important to him, even if he has not acted on it in a very long time.

I am not saying that Essek is NOT sexually attracted to Caleb or that their relationship does not involve sex at some point or at the time of that scene. I do think, at the very least, that Caleb and Essek would have a conversation about it as some point, and I find it likely it would turn sexual. At the very least, Caleb is attracted to Essek. Liam has confirmed that. I would guess those feelings are a combination of romantic, sexual, platonic, etc.

But I cannot imagine, and again this is my opinion, that feeling sexual attraction or acting on it for the perhaps first or second, maybe third time, is not a life-altering moment for him, let alone acting on it. From what see of his character, he's extrmely gaurded, extremely lonely, extremely shameful. Showing his emotions and attraction to Caleb, or to anyone really, is an extreme show of trust and vulnerability, and I don't think it should be taken lightly.

Treating it, at least in those early months, as though it is common or casual, something taken for granted, feels, to me, as though it undermines the importance and gravity of Essek's feelings, whatever they may be. Further, it undermines aspec identities, relegating them to sidelines if it is even acknowledged at all. I feel as though a lot of the jokes ignore Essek's demisexuality and how integral it is to how he builds relationships and interacts with people.

As someone who is aspec, I find it disheartening to see these sort of jokes and offhand comments being circulated about a character who is confirmed, canon aspec whose identity centers on deep bonds that take time to develop. Applying sexual under/overtones to scene where a small chaste kiss and an innocent pet name are shared feels like, in a way, a forced sexualization of a new, developing relationship that may never turn sexual.

There is such little aspec representation in media, and Critical Role does a fantastic job of showcasing a variety of aspec identities which is so, so rare. To turn around and have the fandom ignore or disregard these identities (intentional or not) that the cast and crew work hard to incorporate feels bad. It makes me feel as though I still have to fight for my identity to be seen and understood by people who, theoretically, support and want to understand and respect various identities, who claim to love Essek and Caleb and their relationship. It hurts.

I have spent a lot of time convincing myself that I and my sexuality belong in the queer community, that I deserve to have a voice, that I deserve to be respected and heard. With my feelings about Essek and his demisexuality, I didn't feel right standing by any longer and remaining silent when these portrayals were bothering me.

I am not asking anyone to change their opinions, to agree with me, to change the fic they write, the art they draw. The Critical Role fandom is beautiful and amazing and absolutely incredible. I have met so many kind, caring, wonderful people since joining. It's an experience unlike any other. But, I needed to make this post for me and anyone else who was feeling like me.

[ao3feed-zukka]

land of the midnight sun

Read now on Ao3 at https://ift.tt/zIYnhXl by 136108 The year is 99 AG. The Southern Raiders have not been seen in the South Pole for decades. A tiny ship, bearing the future of the Southern Water Tribe, braves its way north to reconnect with their Northern counterparts. The year is 102 AG. The Fire Lord is dead and treachery abounds within the royal family. A small procession of Fire Sages, surrounding a boy who was once a prince, leaves the palace and makes its way up the rim of the caldera to the High Temple. The year is 106 AG. With the Hundred Year War brought to a stalemate, the Fire Nation finds itself impoverished and largely cut off from the rest of the world. In a desperate attempt to salvage his rule, Fire Lord Ozai sends a delegation to the South Pole led by his former son, the Fire Sage Zuko. Their objective is to form an alliance with the Southern Water Tribe, the group in control of global trade routes—at any cost. (Unbeknownst to Fire Sage Zuko, this is not their only mission.) Words: 2875, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Last Airbender (Live Action TV 2024) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: M/M, Gen Characters: Zuko (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar), Azula (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar), Hakoda (Avatar), Bato (Avatar), Katara (Avatar), Aang (Avatar), Toph Beifong, Shyu (Avatar), Yue (Avatar), Suki (Avatar), Kanna (Avatar), Pakku (Avatar), Zuko's Crew (Avatar), Mai (Avatar), Ty Lee (Avatar) Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Aang & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko, Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Hakoda & Sokka (Avatar), Sokka & Yue (Avatar), Sokka & Suki (Avatar) Additional Tags: Minor Aang/Katara (Avatar), Minor Azula/Toph Beifong, Minor Bato/Hakoda/Kya, There are more platonic relationships I just can't tag them all, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-100 Year War (Avatar TV), Fire Nation politics, water tribe politics, Fire Nation culture, southern water tribe culture, Arranged Marriage, Cultural Differences, Manipulative Ozai (Avatar), Canonical Child Abuse, Canonical Character Death, Fire Sage Zuko (Avatar), Demisexual Zuko (Avatar), Nerd Zuko (Avatar), Fire Nation 41st Division (Avatar), the Fire Nation loves Zuko, Zuko accidentally becomes Ozai's rival and sparks a civil war, Even when (especially when) he tries not to, Nerd Sokka (Avatar), genius sokka (avatar), Oblivious Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Disaster Sokka (Avatar), Sokka's nerdiness lowkey shifts the tide of the entire war, If I had two nickels for every trauma bonded codependent pair of siblings…, Please can these siblings be normal about each other for one second, Zuko Takes Himself on a Life-Changing Field Trip, Aang has decided he is Zuko's best friend (Zuko's opinions on this are irrelevant), Toph Beifong is a walking lie detector and she is making this Azula's problem, Appa Adopts Zuko, Obscure references to centuries-old Fire Nation history, The spirits will not stop fucking around with mortal matters Read it on Ao3 at https://ift.tt/zIYnhXl

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

I like rewriting things for fun because this is just what my brain is like, and on my rewatch of Gravity Falls I was struck once again by how out of place "Roadside Attraction" is. Honestly I don't even dislike it that much, it just feels misplaced? Like, it's a season 1 episode thrown in right before we start gearing up the final arc. I'm hardly the only person who thinks this, but I thought it would be fun to throw my hat in the ring and come up with my own alternate version. Thinking about making a comic about it maybe??

So I've given it some thought, and here's how I would write "Roadside Attraction" (with the benefit of 10 years of hindsight, no deadlines, no supervisors breathing down my neck, and access to pieces of storylines that have only all come together completely after the show ended): It got long so it's under the cut.

I really like the idea of the road trip itself, and I really really like the idea of Dipper and Stan getting this bonding episode. Especially with Stan trying to be a role model for Dipper in a way that Ford has no experience with, playing into both of their insecurities of not being good enough. I just think the focus was too messy. There's a lot of different messages that could be fit in to the whole flirting thing, and I think the episode kind of confuses itself. I'm also of the opinion that the show is at its weakest when romance is the focus. It's just infinitely less interesting than the familial and platonic bonds that have been so lovingly set up.

So instead of the focus being on flirting, we're going to one of Stans favorite skills- lying!

The original episode centers Dippers conflict on not knowing how to deal with an unrequited crush and then acting on some bad advice from Stan. But the episode doesn't really succeed in clearly painting what was actually bad about his advice and why it was bad that Dipper followed it, it gets all muddled up (he wasn't cheating, he was literally just talking to people. It's messed up that ultimately he was objectifying them as subjects for "practice", but he also thought these were going to be one-off interactions. It's all too shaky to actually take a lesson away from in the way the episode wants you to.)

So we're shifting the focus from "confidence with girls" to "confidence" in general. Dipper expresses his insecurities with not being a very confident person, he doesn't think he's brave or cool or tough and he's scared of other people seeing him as weak. So Stan tells him to get some practice talking to people the only way he knows how-by making stuff up! It's very easy to be confident if you just pretend you're someone else! Sure, maybe Stan Pines isn't much of a winner, but Hal Forrester is doing great! And who's to know that he's not Hal Forrester? Stan is a showman and a con artist, if there's one thing he knows how to do it's perform. And that's kind of... All... He knows how to do. It's the thing that's kept him alive for 40-odd years. But it originated in a deep-set belief that Stan Pines is a bad person to be. He has to be someone else in order to be someone worth being around.

Most of the episode can play out as it did but with this framework. We can even keep Darlene! (Stan chatted with her under a false name and acted like he was some kinda unattached drifter lone wolfing it on the road. She heard that and thought "oh good, no one to come looking when he goes missing!" Then gets thrown off when a bunch of kids come and save his ass.) And a different side story for Mabel and the girls. Spitballing here- uhhh Candy and Grenda try to distract Mabel from her feelings about her Summer Romances because she's clearly upset but is trying to hide it. Wacky shenanigans abound. By the end the theme about authenticity comes full circle and Mabel feels better by earnestly talking through her feelings with her friends. It gives Candy and Grenda a bit more time to have some real emotion and follows up on Mabels lesson in "Society of the Blind Eye". She already learned that it's better to live with the bad stuff and learn, but now she also knows that you don't have to carry the bad stuff alone, and that a good friend won't stop being your friend because you aren't performing happiness. That theme can then be picked back up and really hammered home during "Escape From Reality" when she starts facing how shallow Mabelland is.

Anyways back to the primary A plot:

Instead of the crowd of girls it's just a crowd of kids who are all calling him by a different name and claiming to have bonded over a bunch of different interests he doesn't actually have, so he panics and runs out of there. (Basically a Kidz Bop version of what would happen if some of Stan's old "buddies" caught up with him)

Now on the drive home, they have a different conversation. Stan admits that his way of doing things isn't a very stable one, and it always ends with him being alone, but since it was his only option for so long he doesn't really know how else to be. And then Dipper can reassure him that, he, at least, thinks his Grunkle Stanley is pretty great. (Emphasis on the Stanley). Maybe they can both figure out how to be actually confident, together.

ALSO THE B PLOT IS FORD BEING LEFT HOME ALONE WITH WENDY AND IT'S REALLY AWKWARD UNTIL MONSTER STUFF HAPPENS AND THEY GAIN A MUTUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER AS BADASSES!

The monster stuff could be anything tbh, maybe the science magic bullshit from the portal reactivating aggravated a long sleeping cryptid and now it's out for revenge on whoever interrupted its nap. That way we can reinforce that the space between dimensions is weak for a plot sprinkle while primarily focusing on emotional development for the main characters before we get into "Dipper and Mabel vs. The Future". I called it a B plot but it's honestly probably more of a glorified cutaway gag, I don't know how feasible it is to fit all of this into one episode.

I have a really specific scene that I would want to happen at the climax of their side story where Wendy saves Ford's ass at the last minute when he wasn't expecting it and he's like

"How on earth did you manage that?!"

"Dude, my dad is Dan Corduroy. I've been training for stuff like this since I could walk."

"Boyish Dan???????"

And then Wendy suddenly has tons of new ammo to tease her dad with because no one has dared use that name since the 80s

[frischkasekuchen]

Dreamtalia King-Verse Affection Headcanons

(I was thinking about Carrie again, then I got to thinking about how the boys never really get to express their affections or bond with characters because PLOT-HORROR stuff so I'm just gonna write 'em down! What's listed could be interpeted as romantic or platonic (unless stated otherwise).)

Carrie!World-Nicholas Major (V)

This boy's main love language is acts of service.

You have dishes to do when you get home- done! Forgot to throw the laundry to wash- BAM Nick's taking them out the dryer when you go to the basket. You really need to vacuum/sweep/mop but your back hurts? Nick's re-enacting every Ghibli cleaning montage ever!

Smaller acts of affection include referring to you in conversation as : "my love" (if you're dating), "dove", or "my (Y/N)". Yes, it's possessive. He likes letting others know that you choose to associate with him.

Naps with you, he thinks it's safer that way.

If he ever makes you an outfit- it's over bro- you're not leaving him. Something like that is sign of trust and devotion.

IT!Reve-Fauchereve the Dancing Clown (XVIII)

This eldritch horror is TOUCH-STARVED.

With drinking buddies (C!Vanya) he sticks to the arm around the shoulder or the occasional noogie.

If he considers you a part of his brood(children), expect a lotta forehead kisses and being cradled like a damn infant.

If you're a lover, hohoho- he's hanging off of your arm like a trophy wife (because he's the best wife you're ever gonna have ;3 ), kisses you in public (bystanders better be grateful he saves frenching for the bedroom). BIG TIME cuddler, it don't matter if it's BOILING he is GLOMPING you. Likes hugging you from behind and throwing his arms around your neck; nuzzling abound!

Likes singing to you when you're stressed, it has a calming affect (see: eldritch audible sedative-)

If he desires your presence while occupied with an activity (eg. washing dishes, completing schoolwork so long as you're still) he will cling to your leg or lay his head on one of your thighs. Bonus points if you're doing some form of art (drawing, needlepoint, knitting), he will watch attentively and quietly, he enjoys watching the creative process.

Watches you sleep! :D Since he doesn't sleep sans hibernation, he'll protect you from the Other HorrorsTM.

Calls you by nicknames or petnames, some French some old-fashioned.

Speaks to you in Arcane in vulnerable moments (The Funny Kyo Language)

C!Vanya- The Ram (XV)

Sugar daddy.

Not that he has money. But that jacket you saw in the store window that looked real nice in passing thought- yours. That expensive jewelry you saw in Dior's boutique that you couldn't afford- it's yours now...what do mean the 'where's the receipt?' Don't worry about it!

If Vanya can't steal it acquire it, bet your sweet ass that he fashioned you something better, in his colors.

Let him style your hair, please, it's a wonderful de-stressor and he loves making you feel more beautiful whenever he can.

He is #1 hype man on GOD.

Enjoys hearing about your day, vent to him and he'll see what he can help you with.

Likes taking you stargazing.

A big sign of trust from him is singing in front of you. ('I can't sing-' Mikhail: 'BULLSHEET')

What signals true attachment from Vanya is if he gives you a theme song. (e.g plays a song from his radio when you meet up.)

Nick-naming after a bird- no- this isn't up for debate.

All the boys are mad possessive, so they all get to christen you with a nickname-

[travalistocata]

(appears many days later) hello. this isn’t a manifesto per se but a relationship dynamic breakdown (it does get nsfw after a few paragraphs sorry)

delenn is the queen of the castle, first and foremost, and that’s kind of a given. john doesn’t even need any words dedicated to how much he adores her. g’kar is just as obviously fond and they have probably the closest Friendship out of the four. hours spent talking about fuck all with the bonus perk that they can do it in a shared language the other two don’t know (this annoys londo due to fomo and makes john feel like he’s being talked about). her and londo have a surprisingly almost romantic relationship, partly because delenn has some kind of catnip-esque thing inside of her that makes londo obsessed with her. the chivalry comes out in full force around her - opening doors, standing when she stands at a table, etc. delenn reciprocates though because being treated like a pretty princess makes her feel funny inside. mutual ego-stroking abounds, and eventual bonding over their shared genocidal phases.

g’kar and john have become closer friends due to the way that his friendship with delenn has brought them in closer proximity all the time. this occured before even “the arrangement” happened, and they have been building up a pretty mutual respect since they’ve known each other. g’kar and delenn’s relationship will sometimes playfully dance between being platonic and romantic more often than not. they say i love you as friends but sometimes they go through phases where they don’t say it because it makes them both feel kind of funny. they can be described best as “a secret third thing.”

john sometimes is made nervous by g’kar, despite the friendship, mainly because they are so similar in so many ways that john worries he will accidentally set g’kar off or offend him in some form or fashion. especially because he’s so used to seeing g’kar as incredibly prideful and a figure that needs to be respected. john would be the most likely out of the other three to join a cult of g’kar like on narn. londo is such an odd entity for john specifically because he has been so front and center in watching londo commit atrocities - and also has seen up close and personal the ramifications of those atrocities. but londo now has been approved by both delenn (who john trusts in any social matter implicity) and g’kar (who was from the group hurt the most by londo) so things are like…cool? now? but when it happens, it happens immediately and they become annoyingly good friends.

londo is enamored with delenn. she activates the kind of cute aggression “i have to hold you and pinch you and-“ impulse he gets sometimes when it comes specifically to women (ie timov, adira). he is first and foremost a gentleman to her, though, and sees the way that delenn is admittedly somewhat enchanted by having an ~*emperor*~ treat her with such respect and love even if it’s just pretend and delenn does actually hate most imperialistic power structures. john, on the other hand, is first and foremost londo’s pet project. john is awkward around londo for a myriad of reasons - such as the genocide and the fact that londo is now such a shameless flirt to both john and delenn. he flirts with john more though. when flirting with g’kar it’s all subtly and things that he doesn’t want others to see. when flirting with delenn it’s chivalry and treating a lady just so. john is the one that londo can really slip into learned social cues from gay centauri male culture - lots of physical touch, lots of jokes, lots of alcohol. and john gets thrilled by the attention so it all works out.

while delenn is the one who rules the social dynamics between the four of them and is usually the epicenter of it all, g’kar is the one who rules the bedroom. of course everyone has their own set dynamics but it will involve g’kar more often than not in some form or fashion. him and delenn have been old pros at their own dynamic and while her form of submission is different than londo’s, it’s just as thrilling to him. john and g’kar’s sex life is sparse due to john’s own uncomfortableness with the idea of being penetrated by THAT (…he may work up to it one day, though) but when they are together it’s as fun as it is awkward. john’s eagerness to learn combined with g’kar’s experience helps even the playing field, and g’kar can be just as gentle in the bedroom as he can be debaucherous and violent.

delenn loves being tossed around like a sack of potatoes by g’kar, quite frankly. john is both uninterested in extreme physicality like that in the bedroom and also worried that he will hurt her in some capacity genuinely. g’kar offers a surrogate for those impulses she has, including language used. londo and her will sometimes go off on their own and kiss, but sex doesn’t happen that often between them, and when it does she initiates it more often than not. but when they’re together and putting on a show for g’kar and/or john it’s like two professionals at work on a stage. surprisingly compatible despite their combined submissiveness.

londo, meanwhile, worries about coming off a certain way with both delenn and john but more so with delenn. she was there for his actual womanizing and random casual sex that ended up spilling out into professional life. he doesn’t want her to view him like that any more, so he often waits for her to make the first move in anything between just them. but she doesn’t often, and he wishes she did more. john is maybe not what londo would want in an everyday partner but that’s almost the point. he thinks the bashfulness is cute, and londo’s teasing and flirting continues into the bedroom. john has been able to rock his world a few times though (sometimes with help from delenn and/or g’kar) and he likes to put on a show and make g’kar feel possessive.

john is out of his comfort zone immediately with g’kar. it isn’t exactly a bad thing, either, and he finds it exciting. he does worry about not being able to keep up, though, and finds himself having to shake off feelings of emasculation when sharing a bedroom. g’kar with him, though, is kind and patient in ways that john appreciates. he likes how g’kar treats him when he gets a tiny bit rough as well, and sometimes when john is more comfortable it turns into john being g’kar’s attack dog he sics on londo and/or delenn. londo is almost pushy and almost makes him too embarrassed in a different way, but he also does love the uncharacteristic attention that londo gives him. londo has been patient with him in another direction as a more bottom leaning individual and john also can’t complain about what happens when a slut in his sixties shows john tricks that he’s learned over the years. john is also just out of his comfort zone with men, a thing he hasn’t done since college probably.

one day i might drop the ot4 manifesto

[astrodances]

Early Presents

FF.net link || AO3 link

Well well well, it looks like everyone is posting their presents early for @ducktalessecretsanta2018​, eh? :D Puns aside, I’d like to wish a very, very happy holidays to @epos-da-cookie! ‘Tis I, your secret santa! I may have taken some liberties with your request and combined it with the love of skeletons that I noticed on your blog. I won’t say much more than that, except that this is basically some Webby + triplets fluffy bonding combined with a late-night mystery adventure, mainly from Webby’s POV. Enjoy, my friend!

“SLEEPOVER!”

“Sleepover? Who’s coming over?”

“No one, it’s just gonna be us!”

Three sets of skeptical eyes landed on Webby. The boys had been having a rather peaceful, lazy evening in their shared room when she’d burst in with the announcement.

“Isn’t that...basically what we do every night?” Huey questioned, his finger marking his spot in his Junior Woodchucks' Guidebook while he shrugged his other hand in the air.

"Maybe what you guys do," Webby retorted, before bringing her hand up to motion to herself. "But I'm in my own separate room by the end of the night. So come on! Granny said that as long as we stay away from the Christmas tree and the decorations, we can take over pretty much the entire downstairs!" She clapped her hands twice as if to say, "Get to it!" then raced out of view from the doorway.

There was silence as the triplets looked at each other from across the room–Huey from where he'd been reading on his bed to Louie, who'd been skimming over the Ottoman Empire website at their desk, to Dewey, who'd been hunched over a pile of paper all day with a set of markers working on who-knows-what. After a second, they all shrugged one-by-one, signifying their willingness to join in on Webby's fun. It's not like they were going to do anything else that night.

Within minutes, the three of them were standing in the entryway to the living room downstairs, their jaws dropped and their willingness transformed into something way beyond eagerness. A buffet table of snacks and sodas lined the far wall besides an old-fashioned popcorn machine, and at least three stacks of movies and video games rested in between the four bean bags that had mysteriously replaced the couch. There was some epic music seemingly pouring into every downstairs room, and nestled on top of each bean bag was a new 7800-series dart blaster–the latest and greatest in the line.

"Merry early Christmas!" Webby proclaimed as she squeezed in between the boys, wrapping her arms as far as she could around their shoulders.

"Webby, what is all this?" Dewey asked in as much awe as he could manage, as his face was squished against Louie's from Webby's sudden hug.

"An early Christmas present from Granny and me!" With a final squeeze, she let them go and walked forward into the room, raising her arms as she spun about. "Since Uncle Scrooge is out at some holiday party tonight, and you guys didn't have any plans tonight anyway, Granny helped me put together the ultimate sleepover so we could test these bad boys out," she explained, patting her own dart blaster.

The triplets ran excitedly into the room, and together the four of them opened up their dart blasters. Webby was the first to finish setting hers up, her hands swiftly loading each dart with the grace of a seasoned expert. As she turned around to start explaining the details of the evening, her blaster cradled in a carrying position, she was surprised to have the air knocked out of her as Huey, Dewey, and Louie tackled her into a group hug, all four of them landing on her bean bag from the momentum.

"Thank you, Webby," Dewey said, with Huey and Louie echoing his sentiment.

After the initial shock wore off, Webby returned the hug with an internal squeal of glee. This moment alone made the past week of planning and secret-keeping worth it, and she savored each second of it.

As they all stood back up and grabbed their blasters, Louie asked, "So, what's the plan?"

Webby tilted her head forward, a sinister grin winding its way onto her face. "The plan, dear Louie, is to survive." She would've chuckled at the way Louie's face drained of color, had she not been trying to keep up her serious demeanor. "The stakes? Last duck standing gets to choose the first movie we watch and the first video game we play. The rules? Only to stay away from Uncle Scrooge's rooms and the Christmas decorations. Otherwise, everything inside and outside on the first floor is fair game. No teams, and no safe zones."

Before any of them could protest the lack of safe zones, she continued. "You have until the end of the next song to establish a base camp as your starting point. After that, it's–" Here, she cocked her blaster for dramatic effect. "–game on. GO!"

She sprinted out of the living room, Louie and Dewey hot on her tail while Huey went in the other direction. Louie split off in his own direction after the foyer, and Dewey in his after the first hallway.

Webby already knew where her base camp was going to be; she'd had it scouted out for three days now. Deep in the depths of Scrooge's Wing of Secr-garage was a particular configuration of old storage boxes that, to her surprise, had a pocket of space between them, creating a natural fort that was easy enough for her to flip into, but virtually undetectable to the passing eye from the outside. Base camps were not immune to open fire, but with this location, she had nothing to fear in regards to that.

After checking her base over, Webby paced outside it, waiting for the song thumping through the speakers to end before she raced off, eager to put distance between herself and her base before anyone could find her near it. And eager to find her first victim.

Aside from the extra adrenaline rush, that was one thing to be said about the music: it gave everyone an equal tactical advantage. No one could hear each other coming, unless they made a loud noise. It heightened the senses. It heightened the element of surprise.

Still, Webby moved as deftly as possible throughout the mansion, her feet lighter than feathers as she peeked out from corners before somersaulting behind furniture. She made it all the way back to the hallway outside the foyer before she caught any movement: a flash of green hoodie heading for the back door.

"Oh no you don't," she whispered to herself.

In one quick motion, she leapt out from her hiding spot behind an end table and shot Louie with two darts, one to each shoulder blade. He stumbled to the ground out of surprise, and Webby quickly picked up her darts before leaping over him, reaching the back door first. But before she could open the door, a single dart flew past her face and stuck to the glass pane. She barely saw Dewey's reflection in it as she yanked the door open and bounded down the steps to the backyard.

The moon was full and bright up above, providing ample lighting to see, but not necessarily be seen. It made the light dusting of snow on the ground look ethereal, like a true winter wonderland. The three ducks made their way outside and ran about without a care in the world, with Huey soon joining them once he realized where they were. They were all still in it to win it as they ducked behind trees and dodged darts with leaps behind shrubbery, but the cold air added a sense of wonder and joy to the game, a sense that left them laughing and taunting each other between shots.

They were the Duck family, and the night was theirs.

Until Huey tripped inexplicably, that is.

His sharp cry of pain led Webby to believe that one of his brothers had gotten in a really good shot, but when she reached the row of bushes he was hidden behind to assess the situation (and possibly gain a few more points), she saw no one but him, and no stray darts either. Only Huey wincing as he rubbed his leg, and the end of a bone sticking out of the ground.

All thoughts of the game immediately abandoned, Webby immediately knelt down beside Huey and called out for Dewey and Louie to join them. The other two rounded into view with blasters blazing, but Webby simply batted the darts away until they took in the situation.

"Huey! Are you okay?" Dewey asked as he and his brother joined the other two on the ground.

Louie looked between Huey and the bone. "What happened?"

After a moment to gather himself, Huey opened his eyes and nodded towards the bone. "I was just running and...I tripped on that." He moved his hands to reveal a scraped-up knee that was sure to bruise. "I'll be fine, but that is just plain creepy."

Webby left his side to inspect the bone. The end was big and knobby, and the rest of it seemed to extend far into the ground. A femur, if she were to guess at first glance. She knelt down and dug away at the dirt surrounding it, then, with some wiggling and prying, she pulled it clean from the ground. Yep, it was a femur alright.

"Guys, look!" she exclaimed as she turned back to the boys with the bone resting in her palms. Louie immediately flinched back, appalled by the sudden presence of an unearthed limb in his face.

"What the quack was that doing there?" Dewey questioned as he helped Huey sit up straighter.

Webby turned the bone over in her hands. "I don't know, but look: the part that was underground is covered in a pretty thick layer of dried mud. It must've been there for years. Maybe even decades."

"Uh...maybe we should show this to Mrs. Beakley?" Louie suggested.

"Uh-uh, we need to investigate this. Look!" She pointed towards the ground a few feet away from them. "Footprints."

Indeed, there beneath the light layer of snow that had gathered were a set of footprints, hardened by time and an average, unassuming size. They trailed towards the bone's resting place from who knew where on Scrooge's estate.

Webby slid a sly smile towards the triplets. "Boys, I believe our plans for the evening just changed."

"Aw, but I was winning the game!" Dewey lamented, his chin dropping to his chest in begrudging forfeit as the other three rolled their eyes at him.

After Huey insisted that he would be okay long enough for a quick adventure, the group got up and began backtracking the prints. They traveled further and further into the woods behind McDuck Manor, traversing slopes and tree trunks alike. They had all brought their dart blasters along, just in case, with Webby carrying hers in one hand and the femur in the other.

Eventually, the tracks led them to a thicket of bushes near the corner of the property line, with two trees towering in front like sentinels. The branches of the bushes looked quite old and worn out, with no foliage to be seen anywhere. It was as if Scrooge's groundskeeper hadn't touched this area in ages.

The tracks disappeared beneath the wood, and Webby crept forward to poke away at some of the branches with the bone to see where they led. To the group's surprise, they found a wooden cellar door. Its handles were weathered with rust and a splintered hole had been punched through the center of it.

"Riiiight, so...get Beakley now?" Louie insisted again, looking hopefully between his siblings, only to be disappointed when they shushed him and kept moving forward to enter the cellar. "Ugh, fine. But I so get to choose the first movie then when we get back."

"No, you don't," Dewey answered without missing a beat, leaving Louie to groan in protest.

One of the new features that made the 7800 blasters so brilliant was the addition of a 2-mode targeting light–one normal light mode, one night-vision mode. The four of them each turned on the normal light on their blaster once they realized there was absolutely no light in the cellar aside from the moonlight pouring in from above.

What the light revealed left chills running down their spines.

The cellar looked like a cross between a medieval dungeon and a vampire's lair. The walls were made of stone and a small hallway followed from the bottom of the stairs, with two heavy wooden doors lining the walls on either side, and a single door at the very end of the hallway. Aside from an old table with a cabinet on top of it next to the stairs, there was nothing but cobwebs and doors.

"This place looks like it was built before Scrooge got here," Huey observed, swiping a finger across the layer of dust on the table.

"All it's missing are the torches," Louie joked.

Webby ignored them both. Something felt off about this place, aside from the obvious. Surely she would've stumbled across it herself in all the years she had lived here, if not some sort of record of it in the archives. Did Scrooge even know about this place? Did her Granny? Or Duckworth?

"I think we should split up," she declared amid a chorus of "huh?!" and "are you crazy?" from the boys. She turned toward them, shaking her head. "Just for a minute. We'll each take a room along the hallway and see what's in them, and whoever finishes first can start in on the room at the end. We can get out of here quicker that way."

The three of them looked dubiously between each other before nodding one by one in reluctant agreement.

With the plan in place, they each took a door: Webby and Dewey the doors to the immediate left and right of the door at the end, and Huey and Louie the doors closer to the staircase.

Webby's door took some extra pushing to get it to open, but she eventually did, immediately bringing her blaster and the bone up to ward off any sudden danger. Yet a cursory glance around the room revealed nothing of interest. It was small, and almost looked like a storage shed. There was a bench off to one side, and a half-empty wall of tools on the far side. Nothing more than some tools, some rope, some rusty hedge clippers. Maybe this used to be Scrooge's gardener's tool shed in the early days of McDuck Manor, simply abandoned to sands of time?

A scream pierced through Webby's thoughts, and she raced out of the room to find Dewey and Huey looking back frantically at her, before they all turned towards the room at the end of the hall, its door wide open.

"LOUIE!"

The three of them rushed inside the final room, nearly tripping over each other as they waved the lights on their blasters around until they landed on Louie, who was curled up in a catatonic ball next to the door, his face frozen in sheer terror.

"What's wrong?" Huey asked him as he dropped to his side. He got no response, which prompted Webby and Dewey to look around the room with their blasters for the answer.

Webby was the first to find it.

"Uh, guys?"

Dewey gathered by her side and shined his light alongside hers so Huey could see it as well.

There, leaning against the opposite wall with its limbs sprawled out on the ground, was a duck's skeleton. Its entire left leg was missing from the hip down, and Webby gasped in shock as she dropped the femur in her hand with a thud.

The skeleton had a snapped noose hanging loosely around its neck, and it was dressed. Derby hat, brown coat, and red sweater. Cracked spectacles. Faded and decayed, but unmistakable.

No one dared to read the marker above the remains out loud, yet neither source of light could seem to stray away from it:

HERE RESTS SCROOGE MCDUCK 1867 - 1967

"Guys, h-have we been living with...a ghost?"

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

It’s Friday, fellow fan fic aficionados, and you know what that means for the farm witches! We’re listening to our Noah Reid Spotify playlist and reccing some fics for you. Choking Hazard (ryry_peaches/@loveburnsbrighter) “Here at the farm, we love emotional vulnerability as much as hot, hot sex... and this short, sweet fic has an excellent helping of both. Early in their relationship, David reveals an insecurity in the bedroom.”

Evergreen (unkindravens) “For those willing to eat a dead dove, this gorgeously sad Hanahaki fic centered on Stevie and her relationships with David and Patrick will give you a cathartic cry.“ 

A New Dawn, A New Day (bibliopan) “This fic centers on teenager Mandy, and all she learns while working her first part-time job at Rose Apothecary. Friendship feelings abound!”

Peep Show (@themelancholyvegetable) “David as a performer at a peep show is so sexy, but this steamy fic is also impossibly hot in a really sweet way for Patrick.”

Platonic Soulmates (@danieljradcliffe) *GIF SET* “This gifset celebrating the unique bond between Dan and Noah always makes us feel warm and fuzzy! Whether you're an RPF shipper or a die-hard SC fan, this is a must-see.”

Reflection (cypress_tree) “A gorgeous introspective fic set between Grad Night and Dead Guy in Room 4, showing Patrick’s post-date thought process, some adorable flirty texting, and working through internalized homophobia.” 

---------

FARM WITCH FIRST DATE PLATES

We have it on good authority that mozzarella sticks are the way to a person’s heart. Unfortunately (?), there is not a Cafe Tropical in every town, so we’d like to share a DIY that’s honestly better than anything Twyla’s going to dish up.

Homemade Mozzarella Sticks

You’ll need: 16 Mozzarella string cheese sticks (must be string cheese) ½ cup all-purpose flour ¼ cup corn starch 2 eggs 2 tablespoons olive oil or vegetable oil ¾ cup Italian bread crumbs ½ cup Panko bread crumbs oil for frying 1) Open the cheese strings and cut each in half. Cover and place in the freezer for at least 2 hours or until completely frozen. 2) Combine flour and cornstarch in a small bowl. Combine the Italian and Panko bread crumbs in a separate shallow dish. In third small bowl, whisk eggs and olive oil until well combined. 3) Dip each cheese stick half into the egg mixture, and then gently roll into the flour mixture. 4) Put back into the egg mixture and roll until coated. Place into the bread crumbs pressing the crumbs on each piece of cheese to make sure it's coated all around so the cheese doesn't leak out. 5) Place in the freezer while the oil preheats. Preheat oil to 350°F. (It should be hot enough that a few crumbs dropped into the oil will bubble.) 6) In small batches, place breaded cheese sticks into the hot oil for about 2 minutes or just until browned. Keep an eye on them so the cheese doesn’t leak out. 7) Serve hot with your favorite pasta/marinara sauce.

[trashcatsnark]

The more I dig into "Don't Fear The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult (the song the ending is named after) the more I'm giving the side-eye to the people saying that Johnny's and V's bond is strictly platonic (the developers included). I mean... The whole song is RIFE with Romeo and Juliet imagery. It features lines like "Love of two is one, here but now they're gone" and "Baby I'm your man". The lead singer, Buck Dharma, said this about the song: "(...)It's basically a love song where the love transcends the actual physical existence of the partners.", which like... okay. Okay. Okay. okAY. OKAY.

SPOILERS ABOUND AND TW: SUICIDE MENTIONS

Oh for sure, like...just propose Johnny, so it already. Like to choose that for the most dangerous one where him and V are so determined not to separate during these final moments, that V will storm arasaka on their last leg, otherwise alone just to keep Johnny by their side through it. (And to not get anyone else killed of course)

Also, Ive talked about this before but and I love love love the fact it compares the couple within it to Romeo and Juliet, obviously cause of that romantic connotation and cause literally if it being in the song wasnt clear enough; its doubled down on if V dies during the attack.

For those who may not know, if V dies during the solo attack on Arasaka, the video calls that play will be the same as if V had commited suicide because while not by their own hand...they might as well have. And Kerry in his call, talks about the romanization of suicide and says "like we're all fucking Romeo and Juliet or something"

A couple that due to circumstance they could not control, were not able to be together in life, but could be united in death and beyond.

[cacaitos]

whats confusing is like, chronologically, takuro's (bottom-right) is the first instance of the event in yamamoto's works, so you would assume that carries something, if at least only in both voyeur works.

in first place i can assume in voys it's a play in the nosebleed gag as the indicator of a PervertTM (in animanga language) and takuro using it like lip tint instead of wiping it as a sign that he's embracing it, and ken's blood dripping over reika (bottom left) as they 'uncover' each other thru the game double sided stalking and them both being weirdos/unusual etc.

however, it's obvious that in the ken and reika scene it carries a sexual/romantic/whatever connotation i dont think i have to over explain that. the blood lip tint evokes invitation, attraction, bond, etc. so, then did yamamoto change the meaning of the lip tint down the line? is it really that extremely contextual? what does that second connotation say about the various interactions of this kind between takuro and ko.

being generous it could be a more general and platonic simbol for temptation more of the action than the person, and i mean it kinda is already. eyebrow raising nonetheless lol.

again the 'oddness' interpretation comes back with ito, not necessarilly out of a moral oddness but by a preface abounding on an uncomfortability, an 'anormality' of gender. ito likes pretty things and, on first instance make up feeds on her femininity, straightforward enough. and yet the blood tint one is focused on the direction the series of actions took with yukari (while yukari's was mainly on the lipstick itself): a kiss, even ito's homunculus remembers and nakoshi hesitates getting to, by having imitated yukari so far, and for a change actually does.

now i always complain about having missed the damnably obvious meanings of logic-ing two characters to be intimate, esp coming after the very sexual yukari arc and nakoshi's arc preamble showing his rituals around women. and duh i think that vagueness and lack of acknowlegement/resolution is intentional and meaningful in it of itself. just that the pattern of the blood tint indicates things even beyond just the kiss, as a starter of the change/uncovering of nature of the relationship, that work and is more effective BC is subtextual...

going back again lol, it's odd that two of the blood tint instances are linked to this. like. romantic tinge- what does that say of yamamoto's intent on voyeurs with takuro and ko, bro relationship already stated lol.

[salmonthestoryteller]

The Old Guard

Spoilers abound in this, so if you haven't watched the movie, be aware of that.

This post isn't so much headcanons or meta, though I have so many thoughts about that too, it's more of a - I can't believe I got all this in one movie. Because I feel like someone took all these things I've been writing rants about over the years, put them all in one movie and said - Here you go.

Found family is one of those tropes I can never have enough of, and that is one of the main things The Old Guard gives you right from the start. Nile is the new addition, and part of her character journey is realizing that despite of the life she's losing with her newfound immortality, one thing she does gain is this new family who will always be there for her. And, for once, that includes platonic male/female bonds! Where most "new addition" science fiction/fantasy stories always have the new addition be the main romance of the show, that isn't the case with The Old Guard. And it isn't just Nile who has a platonic bond - it already exists between Andy and her boys as well.

And if that's not awesome enough, if there is one subject I have probably written thousands of words on - it's Committed Relationships in Fiction and their disuse in Science Fiction and Fantasy Genres specifically. I'm always on about that subject, how you can have committed relationships, they aren't less romantic, you can have all the same dramatic moments a new romance has and even moments a new romance doesn't, etc etc. Everyone who follows me is probably familiar with all my rants on the subject.

And The Old Guard is like, hm, what if we make the main romance in the movie a couple who have been together for literal centuries? And not just some throw away reference to them being together, we'll have them captured and Joe make the type of impassioned romantic speech that is usually only given to new romances in other films. And, we'll make it a gay romance to boot.

That's like, here, have your cake and eat it too. Though, frankly, that's the entire damn film to me. Because, wait, we're not finished.

I wrote a rant fairly recently about how if there's a past tragic loss of a female character and the connected character is male, nobody questions that he had romantic feelings for her. But if the connected character is female, oh no, it's always, "She was her sister/mentor/best friend."

Except The Old Guard, which is like - oh, hell no Quynh was the love of Andy's life and they made an oath to be together forever that Andy feels she has broken because she wasn't able to find her and save her.

And, wait, still not done because I also ranted how the male character's loss is always romantic, but the Old Guard is like - yeah, no again. The loss that haunts Booker and is the reason he betrays his dearest friends isn't romantic - it's the death of his youngest son, and his accusations he didn't love him because he couldn't share his immortality.

And to top all of this off, I like to rant about how happy endings aren't boring and killing characters doesn't make your story cooler, edgier, or more realistic. (I like my Greek Tragedies, too, ngl, but sometimes I honestly just get tired of character deaths because it doesn't feel truly necessary to the telling of the story itself.)

So, from the moment Andy's loss of immortality was revealed, I was waiting for her character death. That's how this goes, right? It's the work around - let's introduce immortals, but let's have it come to an end eventually. So if you have that happen to one of your characters, clearly it's so they can tragically die.

I have never been happier to be wrong. The fact that we end the movie with not one of the main characters dying is icing on the cake, and I can't even explain how happy it makes me.

So basically the whole film is everything I've been ranting we don't get in Fantasy/Science Fiction shows for years.

And I absolutely adore it.

[happyk44]

Annabeth/Percy/Nico still holds up because Annabeth and Nico have the same level of feral intelligence to go head to head with each other on anything, as well as deep-seated interest in learning, whereas Percy will check out after a half hour, no matter how much he wants to listen.

But Percy also has the range to both be as stubborn and argumentative as Annabeth needs people to be sometimes and as comforting as Nico's consistently traumatized ass requires.

Also when I say Annabeth/Nico, I mean it platonic. Used to ship them in a cohesive threesome but then Nico came out as full-on gay so it's since shifted into a platonic V-shaped polyam 😝 Percy gives them both fish boy kisses

Now onto the other polyam I used ship in my prime PJO days: Jason/Nico/Percy holds up because Jason is more alert and aware of his surroundings so he can pick up on the things Nico hides from them better than Percy would be able to.

Percy is also too stubborn to let anyone else be the sacrificial lamb so Jason's self-sacrificing methods won't hold up against him.

Nico is more observant than either of them and sort of stock piles information. He's basically their go-to on whatever monster is attacking at the time. He's a lot more subtle with his affection but! He also has more of a worldly view on things because shadow-travel plus talking to dead people so he can open them up to experiences outside of demigod insanity.

They both bond over their mutual affection for death boy McGee and things happily spiral from there. Kisses abound. Not picky on levels of cohesion - altogether or connected through Nico, it still works for me.

[koyurim]

on not being “gay enough”

apparently, there are some opinions that “the half of it” is not a “gay enough” story. first of all, what the fuck does that even mean? queer folks have so many stories to tell that are not just about the romance in their lives and alice wu does a terrific job of showing how lesbian identity can impact your relationships with others beyond your partner. her previous film, ‘saving face’, is about a lesbian taiwanese woman, wil, and her relationship of love and acceptance with her mom. her lesbian identity is important to the story but her relationship to her girlfriend, vivian, is not the main arc of growth. (check it out if you haven’t seen it!) 

in ‘the half of it,’ alice wu sought to explore and grieve how her being gay impacted a relationship with a close guy friend. (read the full director’s note, its heart-wrenchingly good ). the wonderful thing about “the half of it” is precisely how it makes moves to show that romantic love is not the only love that exists in the world. there are beautiful instances of familial and platonic love in this movie. paul challenges himself on his beliefs out of love for his friend, and ellie’s dad supports her post-high school plans even if it means living an even lonelier life. ellie and aster form a genuine connection that is romantic, but more than that it’s space to grow as people. they help awaken each other to possibilities that exist beyond what they know. in understanding that they can make bold strokes in life, they are able to step into the world on their journey to the rest of their lives. (i loved their farewell, becuase who the fuck knows precisely who they are and what they want at 17/18? in a couple of years, aster might be more sure, but maybe she’ll still be as lost. but that’s okay, it doesn’t erase the legitimacy of her connection and bond with ellie.)

for queer folk who might feel incredibly lonely and uncertain in this world, this message that love exists in multitudes is one of particular hope and meaning. love abounds and abounds and abounds. there’s so many people who will give you love. ellie lives in that particularly cruel world of high school angst and faces racism on the daily, and yet, she finds people who cherish her and hold her dear. she also cherishes and loves them, which pushes her to grow and be bold as well. we’re told that life lacks meaning without a partner, but you don’t need to find your perfect romantic half to have fulfillment in life. even if you do find a romantic partner, your love doesn’t have to be limited to one person. this queering of the narrative around love is queer in and of itself. 

[getoffthesoapbox]

[Ys VIII] Endtimes Reflections

After eight grueling days and 100+ hours, my journey on the Isle of Seiren with Adol and his team has come to a close. Ys VIII: The Lacrimosa of Dana was the first Ys game I’ve played through its entirety, though not that first Ys I’ve ever owned. It probably was the wrong place to start the series, but what can I say, good decisions aren’t my forte.

It’s been two days since the end credits rolled, and a dreary gloom has settled over me, which can only mean one thing: a long ramble must be had. 

Spoilers abound, so the remainder is behind the cut.

Despite the game committing several writing sins in the prologue, by the time Adol met Laxia and the two began to explore the island, I was hooked. The battle system is probably to blame for this; it’s an absolute blast. The game does a wonderful job weaving together the three plot threads--the mystery of the Ancient Species, the mystery of Adol’s dreams, and the survival situation--in a way that keeps the player constantly moving. Having never played an Ys game prior to this, I found myself pleasantly surprised by it all. My only complaint was that the emergency battles were tedious, but it’s a minor quibble at best.

The castaways’ experience stirs up some fellow feeling within me. In my own life, I’m currently a bit of a virtual castaway myself, if in a metaphorical sense. For the past year I’ve been experiencing some intense upheaval and transition in my life currently, and have been doing a lot of soul searching. It was a treat to find not only characters in my age bracket in this game, but to find that they hadn’t yet found their callings either or at least made their callings work for them was a breath of fresh air. Usually these kinds of games focus on young people, which is the target audience of course, but it’s nice to have peripheral characters who are experiencing adult issues. 

My own situation in life is probably why I bonded so fiercely with all the characters. Plus playing every day for over 12 hours didn’t help much, I’m sure. It really did feel as though I would go to bed, and then get up in the morning and go exploring with my team. We’d battle giant dinosaurs or hunt for those pesky treasure chests or expand our map horizons. It was a grand adventure, and in a dull and dreary life, a little adventure is a great spice, even if it is only virtual at best. 

This is probably why the ending hit me as hard as it did. 

Despite how much I enjoyed the full game experience, including the ending, I found myself deeply dissatisfied with how the ending unfolded. Partly this is due to the fact that by this point I’d looked into the other Ys games and discovered Adol normally adventures alone or with new party members each game, and that it’s rare for Adol to encounter former allies and friends in new installments. 

But more than that, I think my dissatisfaction stems from not wanting the journey to be over. In my real life, I lost my own team in a devastating way, and this was the first time in over a year I’d felt like I’d had friends again. It’s silly for a grown woman to attach herself so to a bunch of characters, but something about the way the story and the battle system unfolded made me feel a part of the group. Adol being a silent protagonist assists with this, of course. Regardless, losing the team and watching them scatter hurt a lot more than I expected and I’m having a bit of separation anxiety even though I can play the game again if it really is that bad, lol.

It’s funny because I’m a huge Zelda fan, yet I’ve never had this sort of reaction to the end of a Zelda game. Likely this is due to Link’s adventures being for the most part isolated other than periodic assistance from fairies or townsfolk, and also because I know I’ll meet “Link” and “Zelda” again over and over in new reincarnations. Adol’s stories are much more final--he only has one short life, and the likelihood of meeting these friends again is slim. In a way, it’s rather like reality--we can replay the game and enjoy the memories again, but we can’t go on a new adventure with those same people. Yet Adol will still go on adventures in future installments and past installments and his story will continue, but without them.

Still, despite not wanting to part with everyone, and despite not knowing when Adol will return to me with a new adventure to enjoy, I found the game encouraging to me in my own life situation. I won’t be able to change all at once, but even the castaways took their time to steadily work toward their goal--it took them almost a year to make it off the island. If they can do that, maybe I still can too. It’s fun, because the adventure changed the castaways and me with them. I get up in the mornings now and think about what adventures I’d like to have, and it changes the whole color of the day. 

Heh, a strange experience, to be sure. But there’s something about slaying huge dinosaurs and saving the world from annihilation that makes you feel you can take on the world again, even after it’s crushed you to bits. =)

This is a little silly too (and rather random), but I hated having to complete my bestiary by killing the Dyrodox on the plains. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard in my life over killing a monster. He never once tried to hurt me; he kept trying to run away. It was the most pathetic battle in history and I just felt horrible and depressed every second. Then I had to kill him again because the doofus didn’t give me all his rare items! It wasn’t as hard the second time, because I distracted myself with some youtube, but goodness I cannot believe the nerve of this game to make you kill a precious buttercup like the Dyrodox in order to complete your bestiary. Thank goodness we have a New Game+ so I don’t have to do that ever again. 

I hadn’t anticipated diving into all the heavy things on my mind so early, but at least that leaves us with the fun and silly things for last. So, this is where I should have started lol. The whole reason I bought the darn game in the first place was because of these two kids--I have three cardinal rules for stories: 1) the presence of a cute guy, 2) the presence of a cute girl, 3) a great narrative. Since you can’t tell #3 until you give a story a try, usually #1&2 are good initial tests for me (I do make exceptions of course, because not all masterpieces have pretty packaging, but I find these rules work out pretty well for me). 

So I went into this game knowing nothing about Ys (and how many darn women Adol has in his harem haha), and expecting an epic love story a la Lunar. Silly me. Instead what I got was a wonderful story of friendship, camaraderie, and appreciation. The narrative focal point was on how the team opened themselves up to Dana and accepted her burdens as their own. 

Strangely, I wasn’t all that disappointed to see that Adol and Dana only had the faintest of budding relationships. Despite being connected across time and space and dreaming of each other, their relationship remained shallow with very little development other than what you’d expect out of comrades. Even Dana’s farewell and Adol’s reaction to her disappearance trended more toward the platonic than the romantic. Laxia’s budding feelings for Adol were much more apparent and fleshed out than anything Dana seemed to express toward Adol. 

To be fair, Dana had a great deal of trouble and responsibility resting on her shoulders, which doesn’t allow for much time for romance. Even her quest was focused around friendship, with Adol merely assisting her. I suppose ultimately it’s good that nothing came of their interactions, given the ending. 

So I come out of this game with no ship, which didn’t disappoint me as much as I thought it would. I loved all the characters, and the friendship was more than enough to enjoy. 

While I’m on the subject of Dana, I really enjoyed how the fitting the title was on two levels. The first level is the obvious one of course, that our band of castaways was caught up in Dana’s extended lacrimosa. But the ending of the game gives the title a different twist as well--Dana becomes literally the goddess in charge of the lacrimosa. All lacrimosas from henceforth are hers to command. This was a neat little twist, and although I’d expected her to sacrifice herself in some way, it was a pleasant surprise that her ultimate fate landed us with a new interpretation of the game’s title.

This story was ultimately Dana’s in the same way Twilight Princess was Midna’s story in the Zelda franchise. Although Adol and his crew played key roles and were indispensable to the success of her plan, ultimately it was her will and her goals the story was pursuing all along. Adol was just along for the ride, which perhaps is true of all his adventures. He seems more of a journey sort of chap. 

And last, but certainly not least in my heart, is my beloved Hummel. He got me good, I’ll admit it. At first I just liked his design and the fact that he was a long range character, but his personality was nothing to speak of.

Then the story starts peeling back the layers bit by bit. He’s good with kids. He’s affectionate to animals. He’s got a weird but honorable code despite working in the black market. He wants to make sure his clients enjoy the items he brings to them and gets bummed out if he doesn’t get the opportunity to find out. He likes to juggle. 

By the end of the game everything Hummel does and says is too precious for this world. Honestly given how affectionate he was with Adol in his scenes, I was shipping the two of them more than any of the other girls, lol. Hummel’d be the best boyfriend. (But then I find out he turns down some chick later, which only increases my suspicions that he’s in Adol’s harem too!)

Heh I feel much better now that I’ve had my ramble. I’ve been listening to the full soundtrack nonstop since I stopped playing the game. There are some fantastic pieces on it. 

I guess I didn’t say much about or intrepid hero. Adol’s character design is gorgeous--I hope they keep the cute red outfit he wears as his default in the future installments (or at least offer it as a DLC for me fufu). But most of Adol’s response choices are a ton of fun, and I love that he’s snarky as well as kind. I got the biggest kick out of him and Sir Carlan (Sir Carlan actually was one of my favorite characters lol). 

This was also the first game where I was able to get a 100% complete without using a walkthrough and only checking the gamefaqs forums for individual bestiary items I missed out on. Dumb achievement to be proud of, but I’m so inept at being a completionist that I always have to rely on other people for help. It was nice to be able to figure out all the secrets on my own for once. =)

Oh and this cracked me up but...I started playing Ys VIII as soon as it arrived in the mail on my Vita. Low and behold I found out that there was no Japanese language option on the day one release! My inner weabo was outraged to the point that I almost refused to play. But then I talked myself out of it, and continued the game. As soon as Hummel arrived in my party, I fell in love with his English voice and once that happened I forgot all about my outrage.

Then I find out (when I’m nearing the last chapter of the game) that there’s a free Japanese DLC for the Vita finally. So I download it, eagerly wanting to hear what I missed out on. And low and behold, the characters sound “wrong” to me because I’ve played them in English the whole time. =P Plus I preferred Hummel’s English voice to his Japanese! Such a travesty. This is why one should never play the dub first. =P It makes things turn out all wrong! 

Anyway, silly story aside, Ys VIII was a great experience and I’m now interested in trying out the other titles. I’ve picked up Ys I & II Chronicles, and I’m quite enjoying the original bump battle system. I’d like to play the games in order (excluding Origins) this time. I do feel I missed out on a bit having never played the games before. Some of the country references and a few of the characters we met were clearly from previous adventures or future ones. No matter, I’ll fix all this soon enough.

And I think that’s more than enough babbling about one game for this evening. If anyone has actually made it this far, I salute you! You are the true champion of this day! 

May your own adventures continue!